at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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