i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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