I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
