I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
