they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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