we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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