don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
my poor anus
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
