2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize