If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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