Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
