Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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