either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
