I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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