you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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