Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
