I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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