watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
