In America we eat man semen.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
