Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
