First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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