i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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