I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
