the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
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i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
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Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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