her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
