Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
