I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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