My brain says no but my pants say off.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
