Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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