But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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