im so drunk with asians
where?
always
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
