okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
