I'm drive I can fine osifer
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
