I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize