You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
