we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize