I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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