goodnight i made you a song goodbye
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
