On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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