you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
