i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
