He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
