The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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