Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
