sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
