so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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