Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
