I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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