Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
MIDGETS
????
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
