I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize