Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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