Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Is it because I queefed?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
