He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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