wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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