you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm always down for nudity.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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