We named our party play list daddy issues
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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