Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
