Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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